![]() ![]() As much as there is a desire for things to be different, the flesh is still weak. The friend you wanted to reconnect with still hasn’t been called. The project you thought you’d have finished is still on the to-do list. You tried, but you didn’t “make it.” Or maybe the slow grind of Covid life has taken its toll, somehow waking up every morning tired and stressed. Your life isn’t what you dreamed it’d be. Maybe this Maundy Thursday you feel overwhelmed by sin and limitations. Jesus’ first disciples were feckless deserters, and by all accounts things haven’t changed much since.Īmid the chaotic whirl of everyday life, it can seem as though inadequacy and shame are all there is. If it’s true of the disciples in this their darkest hour, then it must somehow be true of us and our own failures and ineptitude. ![]() Seemingly destined to fail, their sin was not an obstacle to God, but the very means by which He redeemed. Apostasy and divine providence are mysteriously coextensive with one another. ![]() In the Garden of Gethsemane, human sin and divine action are strangely intertwined. In this brief narrative we are offered a small window into the hidden things we blindly grasp at. And yet even the disciples’ colossal blunder is enveloped in the purposes of Jesus. The events of Maundy Thursday were tragic. From the eyes of Jesus, it was all precisely how it should have been. Pushing this point further, in the Gospel of John Jesus demands that the disciples not be arrested with him “to fulfill the word that he had spoken: ‘Of those whom you gave me I have lost not one.’” From the eyes of the disciples, it was an utter disaster, a betrayal of their beloved friend and God. They wanted to be faithful, but their capacity to do so was absent.īut the disciples also failed because they were supposed to. It’s not as though they didn’t know better or weren’t prepared - were just unable to do what was required. The disciples had one job, and they failed miserably. They fled for the hills at the first sign of trouble. When the expected hour came, the disciples had the spines of a jellyfish - just as Jesus said they would. He cited the prophecy of Zechariah to them: “Strike the shepherd, and the sheep will scatter.” They were unable to do what he alone could. Jesus knew better: their spirits were willing, but their flesh was weak. The rest of the disciples agreed - they would all die with him as martyrs for the cause. In defiance of Jesus’ predictions, Peter protested he had learned his lesson and would not fall away when the hour came. ![]() On the night he would be arrested, Jesus took the disciples to the Garden of Gethsemane and revisited the topic of his and their appointments with death. The only way to life was through death, the only way to resurrection was through a cross. Following Jesus meant joining him in a shameful, painful death. It all began so gloriously, but it would have an inglorious end. To the disciples’ surprise, these “fishers of men” must also take up their crosses, losing their lives to find them. He was supposed to kick out the Romans and reign forever. This paparazzi-lined tour of Galilee would end in his death, Jesus said, and he expected his devoted disciples to be with him till the end (Mk 8: 31-38). But then Jesus’ demeanor seemed to take a dark turn. He asked his disciples who they thought he was, and Peter (the impetuous) won the pop-quiz - he was the Messiah. Jesus taught and performed miracles, gaining fame and garnering controversy. The disciples of Jesus had one job: to follow their rabbi-Messiah wherever he went. ![]()
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